Hookin' It, Corporate Style
Much has been written about the corporate world, often via vitriolic spewings. (And why not? It's fun!) It can be a hateful place indeed. Both incredibly lonely and obnoxiously intrusive, nothing compares to the fragmented stress of an office job. It's rare to find settled, calm work spaces populated with friendly, rational, healthy-minded people. Perhaps a dream. The American Dream.
First up: the lodgings. Worker bees need a place to make honey, after all.
The latter-day cube offers limited shelter. We've all heard it by now: walled off little hobbits make sad, uninspired workers. The cube has taken many hits on this front: it has divided us; stifled us. It is the source of our pain, the cause of our Monday thru Friday malaise.
But I'm here to break with the mold and offer up a defense of cubes. Why? Because I will always respect the "3 walls good, zero walls bad" model of semi-privacy they instill. Cube offers a doorway, a friendly division between what's 'mine' vs. 'yours'. With less access to your physical space, an unconscious quelling of coworker pestering occurs. The eye of Sauron lingers seconds less over your shoulder and you live to Facebook another day.
But now, thanks to a society knee deep in online networking but lacking in spiritual zest for life, the cube has become obsolete. Time to replace it with something new. Something like..nothing! Open, free, fresh office/stockyard air, tapped from the finest air conditioners in the world! Spectacular views of the sweaty, shining faces of every soul within a 10 block radius!
Get used to it, because round' the clock, you're going to be spending lots n' lots of time with your new best coworker friends in the...
If your office is of the modern persuasion, the NEW millennial forward-thinkers really REALLY want you to be open and available. Like, now. Like, always. Unguarded, wall free, this friiiiiiiendly action/social oriented space of non-stop comradery is overwhelming. Multitasking extroverts have built this world, and they're gonna need you to unclench your now highly visible mandibles and join in the funFunFUN of team building, 9+ hours a day.
Now, I'm not gonna deny it and say that these spaces don't look cool. They're mostly VERY attractive...they just don't respect something as trivial as your privacy, or recognize differing levels of personal space.
Sure, the buzzing screen offers a small, flickering distraction from background chatter and an excuse to ignore the steely grip of enforced corporate socializing, but it's only a Chinese lantern thrown over an unsightly bare bulb. You are seen. Interrupt-able. Before you know it, people are inviting their work related questions into your lunch zone and dropping ass on your desktop. If you're like me, this is to be avoided at all costs. I'd rather commune with my desk plant or the methy person on the corner than spend valuable meal/zen time with anyone I'm paid to share space with.
But regardless of layout - whether a sad fortress of felt covered solitude or a table slab built for spur of the moment conga lines - if you're a TRUE office employee, it really doesn't matter. You have your little bindle of benefits and salary, perhaps a business card or two, and the solidarity of knowing your imminent dismissal will probably happen during a layoff (funemployment!) rather than a fiery need to quit. Yes, you are safe.
For within this square jawed world of Workin' It, there lurks an outsider. Lonelier than a janitor doing the midnight shift, more hopeless than a latchkey child without friends, as optimistic as someone living just above the poverty line has any right to be:
The temp exists both to quell and inflame office worker fears - sort of a walking, talking Two Minute Hate stand-in. Although you might THINK you loathe your job, the temp is a there to remind you that it could be worse. Much much worse.
...
To be continued.
Next up: Temping and the Degradation of Getting Paid: "Won't Someone Please Sign My Time Card?"
First up: the lodgings. Worker bees need a place to make honey, after all.
To Cube or not to Cube?
The latter-day cube offers limited shelter. We've all heard it by now: walled off little hobbits make sad, uninspired workers. The cube has taken many hits on this front: it has divided us; stifled us. It is the source of our pain, the cause of our Monday thru Friday malaise.
But I'm here to break with the mold and offer up a defense of cubes. Why? Because I will always respect the "3 walls good, zero walls bad" model of semi-privacy they instill. Cube offers a doorway, a friendly division between what's 'mine' vs. 'yours'. With less access to your physical space, an unconscious quelling of coworker pestering occurs. The eye of Sauron lingers seconds less over your shoulder and you live to Facebook another day.
But now, thanks to a society knee deep in online networking but lacking in spiritual zest for life, the cube has become obsolete. Time to replace it with something new. Something like..nothing! Open, free, fresh office/stockyard air, tapped from the finest air conditioners in the world! Spectacular views of the sweaty, shining faces of every soul within a 10 block radius!
Get used to it, because round' the clock, you're going to be spending lots n' lots of time with your new best coworker friends in the...
Open "Collaborative" Work Space
Finally. Get those walls DOWN. Allll of them. And remember: you chose this.
If your office is of the modern persuasion, the NEW millennial forward-thinkers really REALLY want you to be open and available. Like, now. Like, always. Unguarded, wall free, this friiiiiiiendly action/social oriented space of non-stop comradery is overwhelming. Multitasking extroverts have built this world, and they're gonna need you to unclench your now highly visible mandibles and join in the funFunFUN of team building, 9+ hours a day.
Now, I'm not gonna deny it and say that these spaces don't look cool. They're mostly VERY attractive...they just don't respect something as trivial as your privacy, or recognize differing levels of personal space.
Sure, the buzzing screen offers a small, flickering distraction from background chatter and an excuse to ignore the steely grip of enforced corporate socializing, but it's only a Chinese lantern thrown over an unsightly bare bulb. You are seen. Interrupt-able. Before you know it, people are inviting their work related questions into your lunch zone and dropping ass on your desktop. If you're like me, this is to be avoided at all costs. I'd rather commune with my desk plant or the methy person on the corner than spend valuable meal/zen time with anyone I'm paid to share space with.
But regardless of layout - whether a sad fortress of felt covered solitude or a table slab built for spur of the moment conga lines - if you're a TRUE office employee, it really doesn't matter. You have your little bindle of benefits and salary, perhaps a business card or two, and the solidarity of knowing your imminent dismissal will probably happen during a layoff (funemployment!) rather than a fiery need to quit. Yes, you are safe.
For within this square jawed world of Workin' It, there lurks an outsider. Lonelier than a janitor doing the midnight shift, more hopeless than a latchkey child without friends, as optimistic as someone living just above the poverty line has any right to be:
The Temp
The temp is afloat at sea, towing in the wake of the office steamer, connected only by weather-worn rope and life raft. Choppy water, sharks, hypothermia, loneliness, gull poop and boredom all threaten our sad little castaway. She looks at your sad or happy worker faces and thinks..."One day, I'll be a real boy." And paddles on. |
| Visual representation of The Temp in her natural habitat. Drawn under extreme duress. |
...
To be continued.
Next up: Temping and the Degradation of Getting Paid: "Won't Someone Please Sign My Time Card?"
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